Monday, February 18, 2008

Get To Know Your Movie Negroes: Part I

By Odienator, with apologies to Bob on Sesame Street!

Sing along!

Ohh-ohhhh!

Who are the Negroes in your cinema?
In your cinema?
In your cinema? Yes!
Who are the Negroes in your cinema?
They're the people movies make us play!

Now the sidekick, he has no life.
He's there to help you deal with strife!
He'll teach you how to live with Soul(TM)
He'll snatch that stick from your butthole.

'Cuz the sidekick's a Negro in your cinema!
In your cinema! In your cinema!
Sidekick Negro is a person in your cinema!
He will teach you to enjoy your day.


Odie: Some famous sidekick Negroes include Terrence Howard in The Brave One and any bruva who starred with Ashley Judd in a movie. Back to the song!



Now The Magical Negro helps you win.
He'll help you find the strength within.
His powers bring you fame or wealth.
But he won't use them to save himself.

'Cuz the Magic Negro's a person in your cinema!
In your cinema! In your cinema!
The Magical Negro's a person in in your cinema!
Yes the Magic Negro's a person in your cinema!
His gifts will help show you the way.

Odie: We got lotsa magic Negroes. Bagger Vance. Michael Clarke Duncan in The Green Mile. Whoopi Goldberg in Ghost. One more verse!

Now the noble Negro's tired, Lord!
Their struggle will not be ignored.
They'll suffer, and in silence too!
And You'll be glad that it's them, not you.

'Cuz the Noble Negro's a person in your cinema!
In your cinema. In your cinema!


And the Sidekick's a Negro in your Cinema!
They're the people that you meet.
When you're in your theater seat.
They're the Negroes Ho'wood makes us play!

Next time: Toms, Coons, Mulattoes, Mammies and Bucks! (Thank you, Donald Bogle.)

4 comments:

jim emerson said...

Odie: Brilliant, once again. But you left out the Noble Examples! I know from your conversation with Steven Boone about "American Gangster" (which I want to quote in a future post) that you have some specific ideas in mind...

odienator said...

Drat, you're right! I'll have to fix that when I get a break.

I wrote that post in a hurry on Friday. I was going out of town and I needed something to put up in my absence.

By the way: You mentioned Cabin in the Sky in one of your other pieces over at Scanners. I'm covering that on Wednesday.

www.LanceTooks.com said...

Thanks, Odienator for such an amazing and enjoyable series of posts... it's rare that I come across someone who writes so close to my heart. You might get a kick out of my spin on those movie negroes we love to hate:
http://lancetooksjournal.blogspot.com/2007/03/black-by-popular-demand.html
The more things change...
-LT

odienator said...

Thanks, LT. I'll check it out.

Sooner or later, I'll have to write the part II to this.